ready, set, action
It’s kind of funny to me that the past two months the voice that I was so excited to share on here in October has fallen silent, but the voice in my mind has grown so loud.
My journal has been filled more over the past 64 days than the past year. And yet, I’ve felt like I have nothing valuable to share. My Squarespace account is filled with unposted drafts, so unsure of what I could have to say worth reading. No new events, no new milestones, no trips, no external forces of meaning. Life has fallen still. It’s funny when nothing happens we are forced to stop and ask ourselves: what do I want to have happen?
A wave of motivation came today and it made me realize just how little I’ve felt it recently. I have been without a sense of direction, engaging in avoidance practices pushing away inevitable emotions. I’ve felt outside of my body and my anxiety has been at a place that it hasn’t in years. Today I felt relieved of the burden of this anxiety. Riding this motivation created from a meaningful conversation with someone who believes in me, I wanted to take action.
(Side note- It’s important to take stock of what your valuable traits are. What are your skills? What do you love to do? What are traits that are unique to you? Once you know this, it’s important to engage in activities that celebrate this. The skill may be quick learner- pick up a new instrument and learn some chords. The skill may be deep thinker- pick up a book that challenges your beliefs and write about it. These little things may serve as an internal source of motivation when external sources are feeling dim.)
This voice is my voice. Whether it be on a public platform or in a private journal, my authenticity comes from being honest with myself and others. There is no perfect way to approach uncertainty, trust me, I’ve tried finding it. But action is always better than indecision. I’m posting a draft from last month that I never believed was good enough to share in an attempt to serve as a metaphor for something greater. It’s about consistently showing up and taking action. No expectations, just faith.
