in decision
i recently heard “it’s not about making the right decision, but making the decision right.”
gift-giving, sending emails, choosing to what to have for dinner - every one of these things have felt like unbearable tasks at some point. as a perfectionist, i face indecision all the time. so much of this is due to the fear of pain or discomfort. “if i do this, then what if this?..” this pattern can go on forever if i don’t address and face it - all because of a subconscious fear of making the “wrong” decision.
for me, my indecision comes from trying to control the outcome. i tend to play out every scenario in my head to prepare for the outcome, and predict if it’s a “bad'“ one. this makes every decision extremely difficult, leaving me emotional and mentally exhausted.
a protection mechanism i adopted was basing my decisions off of others and their -presumed- needs. this was a way to avoid being a burden or being a source of conflict. i’ve learned that this takes away the other persons autonomy to be honest with me, often resulting in a false reality.
learning to make decisions faster and easier is a practice of trust. trusting that i can face whatever outcome, even if it may be painful. and trusting myself to make a decision that’s right for me.
it’s okay to take some space to reflect and consider options. but when you feel paralyzed - remember to breathe. the universe has no “wrong” decision. one of my favorite excerpts from deepak chopra:
“if you obsess over whether you are making the right decision, you are basically assuming that the universe will reward you for one thing and punish you for another.
the universe has no fixed agenda. once you make any decision, it works around that decision. there is no right or wrong, only a series of possibilities that shift with each thought, feeling, and action that you experience… decisions are signals telling your body, mind, and environment to move in a certain direction.”
the universe is working in your favor. even when you may not feel like it, everything has it’s purpose. a reminder to trust yourself, let go and let love. have some fun while you’re at it.
and the right people will love and support you no matter what. if you have a fear of losing someone or something, i challenge you to use this as an opportunity to communicate, be authentic and share what you are feeling. keeping your needs and your fears quiet prevents growth and honesty. it may not feel easy, but it’s a practice of trust. trust yourself, you have the answers <3
